Insomnia!

I was awoken by my two yr. old at about 2 a.m. and now two hours later I am still wide awake. Most nights I just toss and turn but tonight my mind will not shut off. My Doc says my inconsistant sleeping patters could be a sign of depression. Yea for me! I don't have time to be depressed. I feel like a new born. I want to sleep during the day and am awake during the night.
I thought maybe blogging would do the trick of making me sleepy. Maybe I just have too much stuff in my head. The thing that stinks is that my kids are now in school. I'm sure that as I start to get sleepy they will be getting up to get ready. No more sleepimg in here.
So today (or yesterday now) was the first day of school. Haley and Leah are gone most of the day.Leah is in first grade now. I worry about her making it all day. Haley is in fourth and is on the big side of the playground now. I feel too young to have a child in an older elementary class. I miss them during the day but I am glad to give up my role as activity director! Now I only have to worry about afterschool and weekends.
My girls already came home with a stack of forms to fill out, money donation requests and clasroom help sign-ups. I am trying to fight back the urge to sign up for too much. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time letting others do things like room mom and p.t.a. helper. I am either a very service oriented person who likes to participate in my childrens school or I am a bit of a control freak. I would like to think that it is the first one but I think a bit of it is the control things. Oh and I am sure guilt plays a big part too.

So backing up a bit. Monty and I celebrated our 14th anniversary this month. Now I may be young to have a fourth grader but I am really to young to have been married for 14 yrs. What was I thinking getting married so young? It should be against the law. I want to tell all young women that getting married before you are in your twenties is very very hard. At least that is my expierience. The reason I say this is because in your early twenties is when you are figuring out who you are as an adult and a woman. Doing that and trying to figure out how to cohabitate with a man at the same time is just crazy. With all that said I have to also say I have no regrets with my decesion to marry Monty. Hard times and all it has been a beautiful journey thus far. And most of the hard times were the very things that made us grow and brought us closer together. The love we share now is so much deeper than the love we had when we were first married. It amazes me.
So I got some major pampering on our anniversary weekend. Our girls stayed at my parents for the weekend. We just decided to chill here in town. Monty surprised me and got us a couples massage package at a local spa. It was fabulouso! We had a warm foot soak together as we sat in big fuzzy white robes in a candle lite room playing enya type music. We were offered champange which part of me wanted to except but I choose the right and had water in a champange glass instead. Then they came and washed off our feet and took us into a room where we both got messages. It was Monty's first time and I think he is hooked. We both felt sooo relaxed. It was great to have that expierence together. It's amazing me how nice you can be to your spouse when you have released all your stresses and there are no little ones around distracting you. I wish I could encapsulize those moments. The rest of the weekend we just hung out together. We saw Pirates of the Carribean. I have a little thing for Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom is not hard to look at either so that was good. We even went to Sushi, which is an ultimate act of love by Monty since he's not a big fan of sushi or fish. He got the chicken and beef. It was a weekend that recharged my battery.

Speaking of battery charging I need to go try and get some sleep. Good night or good morning. It's all becoming all in the same to me. A