I don't think that it is any suprise that the last time I wrote was the day before my dad past away. March 6th. Than about a month later My grandma Died and a month after that my mom had a bad fall in the garage. Needless to say my time was spent a lot at funerals, hospitals, rest homes and other various places.
For some this wasn't a good enough excuse for me not to keep up on my blog.So now that some of the dust has settled I am commited to doing weekly updates on my blog for all the many followers I have. NOT!
So since March 5th let see Leah turned 9 and monty the big 40 in april.man that is old. Haley got promoted from elementary school and will start JR.High in August. Which I rather not send her to. But she is a strong girl and I think she will do well and probably be a good example to her friends around her. She turned 12 in june, the week of girls camp. Whitney Gradutated from Preschool. I swear they have a ceremony for everything these days. But we were very proud of her. She learned so much this year and is very ready for kindergarten this year.
Monty is busy being Bishop, daddy, husband, home owner, Provider for his family.He hardly has time for any hobbies. He recently wisked me away to the exotic city of Fresno. Kids went to grandma Skinners for a sleepover. So he took me for a ride along on his business trip. We actually had a great time. We saw a movie, went out to eat and I relaxed in the comfy hotel room bed.It was the week after Girls camp so the relaxation was much needed.
Girls Camp was great this year. it was wonderful after all these years to finally have a girl of my own up there. Haley had a great time I hardly saw her. She found me at least once a day to give me a hug.Friday night she bore a sweet testimony at campfire. That was the highlight of my week! it was wonderful to be up there with my girl haley, my sister and three nieces.
Well I have more to share but you will have to wait for the new and improved blog! am going to post more
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Midnight talks with dad
I went downstairs to get a drink of water and discovered that my dad was awake in his bed. he asked me what i was doing up and I asked him. He had forgotten that mom was gone on a trip to disneyland for a few days. He said he was worried about her. I reassured him that she was okay and that she'd be home in a couple of days. I told him I would remind him tomorrow where she was.
Then we start to talk about life, what it was like to get old and not have control.He told me he wasn't a control freak but he enjoyed being in charge. He wsn't really sure what the difference between the two was. We talk about motherhood and he told me that I was an angel. I gave him water and chapstick and tucked him in. He told me he loved me and I exchanged the same sentiment.
It's not the big moments in life, it's a the little ones added up together. Midnight talks, watching my daughter snuggle and try to read books with her grandpa, a back scratch, or sneaking a cookie together. these are the moments that I try to cherish while I still have them. I will miss midnight talks when my daddy is no longer here. But he still is here so I am going to grab as many small moments as I can.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Never would have made this up.
I can be a control freak sometimes. More so in my mind. these past several months have really been a test for me in the control area. I'm always trying to figure what God has planned for me. i try to make the plans but they never go the way I have lay ed them out. So I am obviously not the one in control.
If you would of told me a year ago that my husband would be called as Bishop and then My parents would move in with us and that we would buy a home I would have laughed or thrown up.
The first item is a very humbling thing. A pit instantly grows in your stomach when your Stake president calls for an interview. And then when the call comes you have all sorts of thoughts go through your head. Like "I think they called the wrong number?", "Do they know how unworthy and unequipped we are?", Do they know how young and immature we are?". But then a calming peaceful feeling comes over you that is the Holy Spirit that confirms the whole thing. and no matter how unsure you feel, you know that your Heavenly Father will guide you and help you through. It's been about Eight months now and though trials come our way and it's not always easy we have been immensely blessed.
Then there comes the merging of the Degruccio Ma & Pa and the Skinners in September. It started kind of as a joke. But then as dad stared to become more fragile and we look at what the future may bring we decided it would be a good idea. We thought many countries have their families under one roof and help take care of one another, why not us.
Here I thought i was going to be a lonely Bishops wife and all of a sudden I have a house full. Including my Niece who is about to leave on her mission.
My mom and dad's home of 40+ years sold in record time for how the housing market is right now. It was hard for them and us children to see that era end. I still don't like to think about some one else living in our home. And if I went to visit I couldn't just walk right in. So I just pretend that it is still there the way that it was with the furniture and pictures on the wall.
Then came a hunt for a home that would accommodate us all. It was hard to find all the specs. that we needed. we got attached to a few homes that for one reason or another they didn't work for us. Then on Halloween we saw the home we are in now. The next day I drove by and my friends dad who is in real estate let me in. I didn't want to seem cheesy but my gut told me this house could be it. i could see how well it would work for us. We came back again on Monday and walked through with Monty and mom and Liz aka friend/real estate agent. It was unanimous we all liked it! But we still had an offer on another home that we had gotten attached to. Not trusting my instinct I got on my knees and ask God what was the right house for us. I had my own feelings but this is a huge decision and a lot of money at stake. Within the hour the agent of the house we had an offer on came and said the bank wanted more money. the timing again was impeccable. We knew that we needed to back out of that house and proceed with this home.
Now just because a decision is right doesn't mean it will be easy. Escrow was hell! I think it is probably like childbirth, everyone has their horror story of their 72 hr. labor. Well we have our escrow horror story. Which I choose not to share right now.
So here we all are in our beautiful home. The trials in life are still here. taking care of our dad and husband for mom is in no way easy. To see your loved one go through illness and know that their time is limited is tough. But I can not deny that the lord has provided the best means possible for us to care for him.
So I try to let go of my control freak ways. Because I know that the Lord always has a better plan. Not the easiest but the better plan. Better than I could ever come up with myself.
Life is full of hardships, trials, and letdowns. No one can escape that. But when I get quiet and stop my busy life, shut out the noise, the blessings emerge. And those blessings always get me through whatever it is at that moment I dealing with.
If you would of told me a year ago that my husband would be called as Bishop and then My parents would move in with us and that we would buy a home I would have laughed or thrown up.
The first item is a very humbling thing. A pit instantly grows in your stomach when your Stake president calls for an interview. And then when the call comes you have all sorts of thoughts go through your head. Like "I think they called the wrong number?", "Do they know how unworthy and unequipped we are?", Do they know how young and immature we are?". But then a calming peaceful feeling comes over you that is the Holy Spirit that confirms the whole thing. and no matter how unsure you feel, you know that your Heavenly Father will guide you and help you through. It's been about Eight months now and though trials come our way and it's not always easy we have been immensely blessed.
Then there comes the merging of the Degruccio Ma & Pa and the Skinners in September. It started kind of as a joke. But then as dad stared to become more fragile and we look at what the future may bring we decided it would be a good idea. We thought many countries have their families under one roof and help take care of one another, why not us.
Here I thought i was going to be a lonely Bishops wife and all of a sudden I have a house full. Including my Niece who is about to leave on her mission.
My mom and dad's home of 40+ years sold in record time for how the housing market is right now. It was hard for them and us children to see that era end. I still don't like to think about some one else living in our home. And if I went to visit I couldn't just walk right in. So I just pretend that it is still there the way that it was with the furniture and pictures on the wall.
Then came a hunt for a home that would accommodate us all. It was hard to find all the specs. that we needed. we got attached to a few homes that for one reason or another they didn't work for us. Then on Halloween we saw the home we are in now. The next day I drove by and my friends dad who is in real estate let me in. I didn't want to seem cheesy but my gut told me this house could be it. i could see how well it would work for us. We came back again on Monday and walked through with Monty and mom and Liz aka friend/real estate agent. It was unanimous we all liked it! But we still had an offer on another home that we had gotten attached to. Not trusting my instinct I got on my knees and ask God what was the right house for us. I had my own feelings but this is a huge decision and a lot of money at stake. Within the hour the agent of the house we had an offer on came and said the bank wanted more money. the timing again was impeccable. We knew that we needed to back out of that house and proceed with this home.
Now just because a decision is right doesn't mean it will be easy. Escrow was hell! I think it is probably like childbirth, everyone has their horror story of their 72 hr. labor. Well we have our escrow horror story. Which I choose not to share right now.
So here we all are in our beautiful home. The trials in life are still here. taking care of our dad and husband for mom is in no way easy. To see your loved one go through illness and know that their time is limited is tough. But I can not deny that the lord has provided the best means possible for us to care for him.
So I try to let go of my control freak ways. Because I know that the Lord always has a better plan. Not the easiest but the better plan. Better than I could ever come up with myself.
Life is full of hardships, trials, and letdowns. No one can escape that. But when I get quiet and stop my busy life, shut out the noise, the blessings emerge. And those blessings always get me through whatever it is at that moment I dealing with.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
My Dream Job
I fall into the typical category of the youngest child can't decide what to do with my life syndrome. I have never been able to decide a definite field I would like to go into when I "grow up">". Which should be anytime now. I go back and forth from teacher to counselor to an author maybe something in the arts or music to use my creative side. It occur ed to me the other day while I was going from one activity to another that I already am doing my dream jobs.
I am a teacher. I get to go work in all my children's classes. Anywhere from playing with play dough to correcting papers or just listening to a child talk. And of course being a mom I am always in teacher mode.
I am a counselor. I have great friends in my life and sometimes we share our problems with each other. I do my share of getting counsel and other times I am doing the counseling.
I am an author. I use my blog to write make newsletters, poems for gifts, programs for church and letters to friends and write in my journal. I am already an author of some sort.
I am an artist. I am creating everyday whether it be a meal, a school project or a clean house I can use my creative side everyday. I can sing in choirs or the shower.
I can give my girls pedicures or my husband a foot rub and feel like a beautician or massage therapist.
I still have dreams of getting a full education in one field or another. But in the mean time instead of dreaming of what I will be I will embrace what I already am. I don't get paid in a monetary way and even though that would be nice I do get paid in the joy that comes from being my own kind of teacher, counselor, author,artist,and my favorite most exhausting, fun, eventful 24hr. job of Mother.
I am a teacher. I get to go work in all my children's classes. Anywhere from playing with play dough to correcting papers or just listening to a child talk. And of course being a mom I am always in teacher mode.
I am a counselor. I have great friends in my life and sometimes we share our problems with each other. I do my share of getting counsel and other times I am doing the counseling.
I am an author. I use my blog to write make newsletters, poems for gifts, programs for church and letters to friends and write in my journal. I am already an author of some sort.
I am an artist. I am creating everyday whether it be a meal, a school project or a clean house I can use my creative side everyday. I can sing in choirs or the shower.
I can give my girls pedicures or my husband a foot rub and feel like a beautician or massage therapist.
I still have dreams of getting a full education in one field or another. But in the mean time instead of dreaming of what I will be I will embrace what I already am. I don't get paid in a monetary way and even though that would be nice I do get paid in the joy that comes from being my own kind of teacher, counselor, author,artist,and my favorite most exhausting, fun, eventful 24hr. job of Mother.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Monday, October 30, 2006
This is Halloween!
I get very nestolgic around this time of year. With the holidays and the year coming to an end so quickly. I think about how fast my kids a growning and that I am going to turn around and they will be through with trick or treating and writing letters to Santa Clause. This makes me feel a little blue. I also think back on the trials I was going through a year ago and see that I have survived them. This gives me faith that the trials I currently am encountering will soon be a thing of the past. This teaches me not to get to wrapped up in the drama's of life because soon they will just be a memory. I personally want my memory to be filled with Joy not drama. I guess passing time can be good for putting things in perpective.
Speaking of Joy these pictures of my 3 Lovely Pumpkins give me much Joy!.
Speaking of Joy these pictures of my 3 Lovely Pumpkins give me much Joy!.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
It's not all in my head!
So as I may have expressed in my prior blogs how incredibly tired I am all the time. And how my Dr. thought I may be fighting depression. Well it turns out I have a Underactive Thyriod disorder. Some thyroids prefer to be called "less" active. The main symptoms are sluggishness, or exhaustion. Depression or mental exhaustion. Along with other physical symptoms. Wow did that descibe me the last few months. I thought I was maybe pregnant or going crazy. I'm so glad it is something so easy to remedy! And that I found out what it was before all my hair fell out. I am now on a Thyroid replacement meds. And in 4 to 6 weeks I should start to feel improvement. I can't wait because as of present time I feel like crap. It is terrible how your mind and the advisary will bring you down. When you feel yucky most of the time you start to tell yourself some very self defeating messages. "I'm fat and lazy. I'm a terrible mom who is always grumpy." The list goes on and on. I hope as I get better this list will get smaller. I will keep a blog of my progress.
I must write some of our other happenings in our Family. About two weeks ago the Sacramento temple was dedicated. It was a busy weekend for most mormons in this area. The saturday night before we got to go to the Youth temple celebration at arco arena. Haley was able to come along and we were all blessed to see the Prophet and hear him speak. It was awesome! When Pres. Hinckley came out all the youth stood up and clapped and shouted for him. It was wierd but cool to be shouting for the prophet.
Then on sunday we went to the dedication. Monty was able to sing with the temple choir for the forth session. He was right behind President Hinckley's seat. He said he could read his notes in his folder. It was a beautiful dedication and we were very filled with the spirit. After the dedication me and Haley found Monty and he greeted us with a hug and tears in his eyes. He was very overwhelmed with emotion being in the the temple standing next to a Prophet of God. Next we went to the front of the temple and waited for the Prophet to come out to say goodbye. There were lots of people waitng. I had Haley wiggle her way up to the front so she could see. As he came out everyone sang "We thank thee oh God for a Prophet." He waved his cane in the air and smiled. Then His counselore Pres. Monson came out and apostle Tom L. Perry. Elder Perry crossed the street and came and shook Haley's hand. She said he was a nice man. What a neat moment for her. It was a sweet time for all of us.
Well I must go and have a tea party with whitney!
I must write some of our other happenings in our Family. About two weeks ago the Sacramento temple was dedicated. It was a busy weekend for most mormons in this area. The saturday night before we got to go to the Youth temple celebration at arco arena. Haley was able to come along and we were all blessed to see the Prophet and hear him speak. It was awesome! When Pres. Hinckley came out all the youth stood up and clapped and shouted for him. It was wierd but cool to be shouting for the prophet.
Then on sunday we went to the dedication. Monty was able to sing with the temple choir for the forth session. He was right behind President Hinckley's seat. He said he could read his notes in his folder. It was a beautiful dedication and we were very filled with the spirit. After the dedication me and Haley found Monty and he greeted us with a hug and tears in his eyes. He was very overwhelmed with emotion being in the the temple standing next to a Prophet of God. Next we went to the front of the temple and waited for the Prophet to come out to say goodbye. There were lots of people waitng. I had Haley wiggle her way up to the front so she could see. As he came out everyone sang "We thank thee oh God for a Prophet." He waved his cane in the air and smiled. Then His counselore Pres. Monson came out and apostle Tom L. Perry. Elder Perry crossed the street and came and shook Haley's hand. She said he was a nice man. What a neat moment for her. It was a sweet time for all of us.
Well I must go and have a tea party with whitney!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Insomnia!
I was awoken by my two yr. old at about 2 a.m. and now two hours later I am still wide awake. Most nights I just toss and turn but tonight my mind will not shut off. My Doc says my inconsistant sleeping patters could be a sign of depression. Yea for me! I don't have time to be depressed. I feel like a new born. I want to sleep during the day and am awake during the night.
I thought maybe blogging would do the trick of making me sleepy. Maybe I just have too much stuff in my head. The thing that stinks is that my kids are now in school. I'm sure that as I start to get sleepy they will be getting up to get ready. No more sleepimg in here.
So today (or yesterday now) was the first day of school. Haley and Leah are gone most of the day.Leah is in first grade now. I worry about her making it all day. Haley is in fourth and is on the big side of the playground now. I feel too young to have a child in an older elementary class. I miss them during the day but I am glad to give up my role as activity director! Now I only have to worry about afterschool and weekends.
My girls already came home with a stack of forms to fill out, money donation requests and clasroom help sign-ups. I am trying to fight back the urge to sign up for too much. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time letting others do things like room mom and p.t.a. helper. I am either a very service oriented person who likes to participate in my childrens school or I am a bit of a control freak. I would like to think that it is the first one but I think a bit of it is the control things. Oh and I am sure guilt plays a big part too.
So backing up a bit. Monty and I celebrated our 14th anniversary this month. Now I may be young to have a fourth grader but I am really to young to have been married for 14 yrs. What was I thinking getting married so young? It should be against the law. I want to tell all young women that getting married before you are in your twenties is very very hard. At least that is my expierience. The reason I say this is because in your early twenties is when you are figuring out who you are as an adult and a woman. Doing that and trying to figure out how to cohabitate with a man at the same time is just crazy. With all that said I have to also say I have no regrets with my decesion to marry Monty. Hard times and all it has been a beautiful journey thus far. And most of the hard times were the very things that made us grow and brought us closer together. The love we share now is so much deeper than the love we had when we were first married. It amazes me.
So I got some major pampering on our anniversary weekend. Our girls stayed at my parents for the weekend. We just decided to chill here in town. Monty surprised me and got us a couples massage package at a local spa. It was fabulouso! We had a warm foot soak together as we sat in big fuzzy white robes in a candle lite room playing enya type music. We were offered champange which part of me wanted to except but I choose the right and had water in a champange glass instead. Then they came and washed off our feet and took us into a room where we both got messages. It was Monty's first time and I think he is hooked. We both felt sooo relaxed. It was great to have that expierence together. It's amazing me how nice you can be to your spouse when you have released all your stresses and there are no little ones around distracting you. I wish I could encapsulize those moments. The rest of the weekend we just hung out together. We saw Pirates of the Carribean. I have a little thing for Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom is not hard to look at either so that was good. We even went to Sushi, which is an ultimate act of love by Monty since he's not a big fan of sushi or fish. He got the chicken and beef. It was a weekend that recharged my battery.
Speaking of battery charging I need to go try and get some sleep. Good night or good morning. It's all becoming all in the same to me. A
I thought maybe blogging would do the trick of making me sleepy. Maybe I just have too much stuff in my head. The thing that stinks is that my kids are now in school. I'm sure that as I start to get sleepy they will be getting up to get ready. No more sleepimg in here.
So today (or yesterday now) was the first day of school. Haley and Leah are gone most of the day.Leah is in first grade now. I worry about her making it all day. Haley is in fourth and is on the big side of the playground now. I feel too young to have a child in an older elementary class. I miss them during the day but I am glad to give up my role as activity director! Now I only have to worry about afterschool and weekends.
My girls already came home with a stack of forms to fill out, money donation requests and clasroom help sign-ups. I am trying to fight back the urge to sign up for too much. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time letting others do things like room mom and p.t.a. helper. I am either a very service oriented person who likes to participate in my childrens school or I am a bit of a control freak. I would like to think that it is the first one but I think a bit of it is the control things. Oh and I am sure guilt plays a big part too.
So backing up a bit. Monty and I celebrated our 14th anniversary this month. Now I may be young to have a fourth grader but I am really to young to have been married for 14 yrs. What was I thinking getting married so young? It should be against the law. I want to tell all young women that getting married before you are in your twenties is very very hard. At least that is my expierience. The reason I say this is because in your early twenties is when you are figuring out who you are as an adult and a woman. Doing that and trying to figure out how to cohabitate with a man at the same time is just crazy. With all that said I have to also say I have no regrets with my decesion to marry Monty. Hard times and all it has been a beautiful journey thus far. And most of the hard times were the very things that made us grow and brought us closer together. The love we share now is so much deeper than the love we had when we were first married. It amazes me.
So I got some major pampering on our anniversary weekend. Our girls stayed at my parents for the weekend. We just decided to chill here in town. Monty surprised me and got us a couples massage package at a local spa. It was fabulouso! We had a warm foot soak together as we sat in big fuzzy white robes in a candle lite room playing enya type music. We were offered champange which part of me wanted to except but I choose the right and had water in a champange glass instead. Then they came and washed off our feet and took us into a room where we both got messages. It was Monty's first time and I think he is hooked. We both felt sooo relaxed. It was great to have that expierence together. It's amazing me how nice you can be to your spouse when you have released all your stresses and there are no little ones around distracting you. I wish I could encapsulize those moments. The rest of the weekend we just hung out together. We saw Pirates of the Carribean. I have a little thing for Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom is not hard to look at either so that was good. We even went to Sushi, which is an ultimate act of love by Monty since he's not a big fan of sushi or fish. He got the chicken and beef. It was a weekend that recharged my battery.
Speaking of battery charging I need to go try and get some sleep. Good night or good morning. It's all becoming all in the same to me. A
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Great end to my day
I had a sweet time tonight at the Sac Temple Open House. I went through the new temple with my family . It was so beautiful. I can't wait to go back. I am so thrilled at the fact that I can drive about five minutes and be at the temple. It is so amazing and such a huge blessing. Even just being able to go and be outside on the temple grounds on any given day will be so wonderful. You feel a mass of peace surrounds you when you enter the huge doors and they shut out the noise of the world. I crave that peace on a daily basis and now it is just a short drive away!
As we were leaving one of the rooms that sealings/weddings are performed in, my Haley(9)say, "I want to get married in this room. It is so beautiful." On the way home I asked Leah (6) what she thought and she said, "I feel like I could feel Jesus. I could feel the holy ghost. And I could feel my spirit."
Words like that fill a mommy's heart.
As we were leaving one of the rooms that sealings/weddings are performed in, my Haley(9)say, "I want to get married in this room. It is so beautiful." On the way home I asked Leah (6) what she thought and she said, "I feel like I could feel Jesus. I could feel the holy ghost. And I could feel my spirit."
Words like that fill a mommy's heart.
Friday, July 28, 2006
I'm Bored!
If I hear the words "I'm bored" one more time this summer I am going to scream. Especially if I have just spent a few hours and money spending time entertaining my kids. Since when do you have to be entertained every second of the day? And why is it up to me to figure out that for them?
The other day my nine year old daughter has a friend over and they have only been here for a short while and ask if they can go back over to the friends home. Curious, I ask them why they don't want to stay at our home. They both are very vague and tell me "it's a lot of different reasons."
Eventually the friend goes home so I ask my daughter why they didn't want to play here. She tells me that we just don't have anything fun here to do like her friends have. They have pools, trampolines, video games. "It's just kind of boring here" she says. I am a little taken back by this. Have you seen how many freakin' toys we have. Yeah maybe our toys are geared toward a younger age and my daughter is reaching that tween stage. But give me a break. I offer her some ideas of some creative things she could do... Such as make up dances, do crafts, bake, do their nails. I tell her how I didn't have dish network and video games when I was younger and I found things to do. She replies by saying "Well things are different now mom." All of a sudden I felt like this out of touch old mom that just didn't understand. Wait a minute! My daughter is only nine. Have I let the Disney channel and other children wastelands get to my child? Can they not use their brains to entertain themselves? Or is peer pressure already happening and her friends who have to be entertained 24/7 getting to her? What happen to the days when you raced popsicle sticks down the street gutter and could walk to 7/11 for a slurpee and then top it off with a little price is right? That would be a full day for me.
Actually my daughter has always wanted to be on the go since she came out of the womb. It just hasn't required big expensive toys to do it.
So of course I take her comments of our home being boring very personally. What mom wants to have the "un-cool" home. Then I start to think I have gone wrong somewhere raising my child. She should be content with everything I try to give her. Right!? I feel I try hard to be a mom who teaches my children responsibility and that not all their wishes and wants will be fulfilled. But I also try to be a mother who is fun and playful with her children and also helps to provide fun, happy experiences in their lives. But it just never seems to be enough.
I feel like I am a activity cruise director, Like Julie on the love boat. I am asked every morning and every night what the activities will be for the day. And if all I have scheduled is a load of laundry ,and that is all I have the energy for, well then I will have a boat full of unhappy whinny passengers.
Part of me wants to satisfy everyone and make sure they are having fun and are happy. I worry when they go back to school they won't have anything exciting to say about their summer. But more importantly I want them to want to play at our own home. I don't want my children always playing at other peoples homes.
And then another part of me wants to say (and sometimes does) "If you don't like the activities on this cruise ship than to bad the trip is non refundable!" Or I just want to send them to another ship all together.
I guess my biggest fear is having my children turn out like Veruca on Charlie and the chocolate factory. "I want a golden egg right now daddy!!!!" I can not stand when my children act ungrateful. Or don't notice all that they already have. How do I instill the quality of gratitude in my children? I thought I was
trying to do this but I'm not to sure it is working.
I suddenly am having a memory of a girl I lived across the street from when I was little. She had every Barbie known to man and all the accessories that went with them. She would invite me over sometimes to play with them. I remember coming home after playing with her, to my little set of Sunshine Family Dolls. Kind of a toned down generic barbie. When you squeezed their heads their eyes could pop out. After playing with her barbies my family of partially eyeless dolls had lost their appeal. I don't remember but I'm sure I begged my mom for things I didn't have. I'm sure i told her that everyone else had them accept me. I don't remember her response but I'm sure she said something like "Well if I see it on sale maybe I will get is for your birthday."
So maybe my nine year old isn't that bad. Maybe she is just like her mother but just wanting different toys. Maybe we all have a little veruca in us sometimes. Or the case of the "grass is always greener." I'm sure I look at the people around me and think their toys ie. clothes, cars, home, were better than mine.
If this behavior is normal how do you stop the whining and pouting that goes with it. Has anyone figured out a way around that one?
The other day my nine year old daughter has a friend over and they have only been here for a short while and ask if they can go back over to the friends home. Curious, I ask them why they don't want to stay at our home. They both are very vague and tell me "it's a lot of different reasons."
Eventually the friend goes home so I ask my daughter why they didn't want to play here. She tells me that we just don't have anything fun here to do like her friends have. They have pools, trampolines, video games. "It's just kind of boring here" she says. I am a little taken back by this. Have you seen how many freakin' toys we have. Yeah maybe our toys are geared toward a younger age and my daughter is reaching that tween stage. But give me a break. I offer her some ideas of some creative things she could do... Such as make up dances, do crafts, bake, do their nails. I tell her how I didn't have dish network and video games when I was younger and I found things to do. She replies by saying "Well things are different now mom." All of a sudden I felt like this out of touch old mom that just didn't understand. Wait a minute! My daughter is only nine. Have I let the Disney channel and other children wastelands get to my child? Can they not use their brains to entertain themselves? Or is peer pressure already happening and her friends who have to be entertained 24/7 getting to her? What happen to the days when you raced popsicle sticks down the street gutter and could walk to 7/11 for a slurpee and then top it off with a little price is right? That would be a full day for me.
Actually my daughter has always wanted to be on the go since she came out of the womb. It just hasn't required big expensive toys to do it.
So of course I take her comments of our home being boring very personally. What mom wants to have the "un-cool" home. Then I start to think I have gone wrong somewhere raising my child. She should be content with everything I try to give her. Right!? I feel I try hard to be a mom who teaches my children responsibility and that not all their wishes and wants will be fulfilled. But I also try to be a mother who is fun and playful with her children and also helps to provide fun, happy experiences in their lives. But it just never seems to be enough.
I feel like I am a activity cruise director, Like Julie on the love boat. I am asked every morning and every night what the activities will be for the day. And if all I have scheduled is a load of laundry ,and that is all I have the energy for, well then I will have a boat full of unhappy whinny passengers.
Part of me wants to satisfy everyone and make sure they are having fun and are happy. I worry when they go back to school they won't have anything exciting to say about their summer. But more importantly I want them to want to play at our own home. I don't want my children always playing at other peoples homes.
And then another part of me wants to say (and sometimes does) "If you don't like the activities on this cruise ship than to bad the trip is non refundable!" Or I just want to send them to another ship all together.
I guess my biggest fear is having my children turn out like Veruca on Charlie and the chocolate factory. "I want a golden egg right now daddy!!!!" I can not stand when my children act ungrateful. Or don't notice all that they already have. How do I instill the quality of gratitude in my children? I thought I was
trying to do this but I'm not to sure it is working.
I suddenly am having a memory of a girl I lived across the street from when I was little. She had every Barbie known to man and all the accessories that went with them. She would invite me over sometimes to play with them. I remember coming home after playing with her, to my little set of Sunshine Family Dolls. Kind of a toned down generic barbie. When you squeezed their heads their eyes could pop out. After playing with her barbies my family of partially eyeless dolls had lost their appeal. I don't remember but I'm sure I begged my mom for things I didn't have. I'm sure i told her that everyone else had them accept me. I don't remember her response but I'm sure she said something like "Well if I see it on sale maybe I will get is for your birthday."
So maybe my nine year old isn't that bad. Maybe she is just like her mother but just wanting different toys. Maybe we all have a little veruca in us sometimes. Or the case of the "grass is always greener." I'm sure I look at the people around me and think their toys ie. clothes, cars, home, were better than mine.
If this behavior is normal how do you stop the whining and pouting that goes with it. Has anyone figured out a way around that one?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Three Babes and a Raft
So we just got back from spending several days at Lake Oroville. I was doing well not to sunburn to bad until the very last day. Which I feel is a big defeat seeing that I am not only responsible for lathering up myself with sunscreen but three other little bodies.
We went with my sister and her family along with a couple other families. We basically hung out on the lake all day. It was fun and somewhat relaxing with all the kids. Definantly some good memories.
I'm not much of a skier but I did go on this taco type tube with my sister Jenny and my friend Tammy. The video has not been released for public viewing yet but the whole thing was caught on tape.
Sandwiched in the middle, I white nuckled the handles on the raft. Thing were going okay until Tammy's husband, Mark, decided to drive his boat around ours and make huge wave. So as we are being whipped around the wake we encounter these waves and are tossed off the raft. Actually I'm not sure how but Jenny managed to stay on.
So we swim to the raft and gracefully climb on the raft, NOT! Which again is being filmed. Tammy and I decided we will put the song "I like big butts and I can not lie!" As one of the soundtracks for our video.
We three decide we want to go on the raft some more. We obviously drank way beyond our Diet Pepsi limit and are not making wise decisions.
So we start off and forgetting we are at the end of a rope connected to his boat, Paul (Jenny's Husband), decides he wants to catch up with Mark and go around his boat to make some "payback" waves. So we go flying around his boat and Paul realizes that we are going way too fast and slows down. We are going up and down on some big waves and end up head to head with Mark's boat. But instead of aborting the little raft we three decided to use the raft to protect us from the boat. We succeeded in pushing ourselves away from the boat and tipping over into the water.
I don't think I have laughed so hard in a very long time. I think I need to laugh like that at least once a week. It was the best therapy. The conversation between the three of us on the raft was equally entertaining but must be kept private. "What is said on the raft stays on the raft." Something about coin slots and butt snaps. Like I said "Way too much diet Pepsi".
We went with my sister and her family along with a couple other families. We basically hung out on the lake all day. It was fun and somewhat relaxing with all the kids. Definantly some good memories.
I'm not much of a skier but I did go on this taco type tube with my sister Jenny and my friend Tammy. The video has not been released for public viewing yet but the whole thing was caught on tape.
Sandwiched in the middle, I white nuckled the handles on the raft. Thing were going okay until Tammy's husband, Mark, decided to drive his boat around ours and make huge wave. So as we are being whipped around the wake we encounter these waves and are tossed off the raft. Actually I'm not sure how but Jenny managed to stay on.
So we swim to the raft and gracefully climb on the raft, NOT! Which again is being filmed. Tammy and I decided we will put the song "I like big butts and I can not lie!" As one of the soundtracks for our video.
We three decide we want to go on the raft some more. We obviously drank way beyond our Diet Pepsi limit and are not making wise decisions.
So we start off and forgetting we are at the end of a rope connected to his boat, Paul (Jenny's Husband), decides he wants to catch up with Mark and go around his boat to make some "payback" waves. So we go flying around his boat and Paul realizes that we are going way too fast and slows down. We are going up and down on some big waves and end up head to head with Mark's boat. But instead of aborting the little raft we three decided to use the raft to protect us from the boat. We succeeded in pushing ourselves away from the boat and tipping over into the water.
I don't think I have laughed so hard in a very long time. I think I need to laugh like that at least once a week. It was the best therapy. The conversation between the three of us on the raft was equally entertaining but must be kept private. "What is said on the raft stays on the raft." Something about coin slots and butt snaps. Like I said "Way too much diet Pepsi".
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Happy 9th Birthday Haley!
Haley turned 9 on June 17th. I can't believe how old she is. I feel like she was just Whitney's age. She is one amazing girl. I'm not sure how I got picked to be the parent of such a great girl. I have always thought that Haley was an old soul. Since she was a small baby she seemed older than her age. Some think it is because she is surrounded by her older cousins but I think she was just born this way. She just finished a great year in third grade. She usually keeps her self busy playing the piano, doing gymnastics and playing with friends.
Two days after Haleys birthday she had and accident playing on the monkey bars at the park. She fell on her arm and broke it. So unfortunately most of the things she loves to do have been put on hold. She can however still play with friends and we have figured out a way for her to go swimming. She gets down sometimes because of her arm and the things she can't do. But she has amazed me at her bravery and her spirit to keep trying things that are hard for her to do. She usually insists on trying to do thing on her own. I'm not sure where she got that. I think she will always remember this summer. It will be a growing experience for both of us.
There are a lot of other great parts to Haley besides her broken arm. She is smart and whitty. She has a great since of fashion and can sing and play pretty songs on the piano. She has amazing eyes and a great smile. She has great faith in her Heavenly Father and a strong desire to choose the right. She is just an all around beautiful girl. We love her so much. She is an important part of our family.
You Go Girl! Love you Haley! YO!
Monday, April 17, 2006
"Are you having anymore?"
In the last week or so I have been posed by the question several times, "are you going to have anymore?". These people are referring to children. People ask such questions as. "Do we want to try for a boy?, Are you done?, Are you ready for another one?".
I can't help but feel like I am sitting at a dining table, I have already finished my plate, and in my case I haven't just had seconds but thirds. And I get asked if I want more.
Do you know that feeling when you think you could still eat a little more because at that particular moment it tastes so good, and so you agree to have another helping. But then about twenty minutes after you eat you feel dreadfully sick and wished you would have stopped two helpings ago.
This is where I am at. Do I take another helping and enjoy the precious moments of childhood and having a new little spirit in our home. Savor the flavor of sweet soft baby skin, kisses and cuddles. Is there just one more helping, one more child waiting to be a part of our family?
But then there is the other side of the plate. Will I feel completely stuffed and stretched in more ways than one? Can my body go through this again? Literally being stretched, the weight gain, the nausea, the weight gain, varicose veins, the headaches, did I say the weight gain!? Particularly in the upper breast region. And then there is the stretch on my mental health. Can I still be a good mommy when I am going through sleep deprivation, post pardum depression, no alone time with just myself or my husband. Or will I just turn into the wicked witch of our house?
So as I sit with a blank and flushed face, starring at my plate. I am barely able to eat the portions I've been given. And then I look back at those people asking me if I want to have anymore. And I tell them, "I don't know right now, I'm still trying to let what I've already eaten digest."
I can't help but feel like I am sitting at a dining table, I have already finished my plate, and in my case I haven't just had seconds but thirds. And I get asked if I want more.
Do you know that feeling when you think you could still eat a little more because at that particular moment it tastes so good, and so you agree to have another helping. But then about twenty minutes after you eat you feel dreadfully sick and wished you would have stopped two helpings ago.
This is where I am at. Do I take another helping and enjoy the precious moments of childhood and having a new little spirit in our home. Savor the flavor of sweet soft baby skin, kisses and cuddles. Is there just one more helping, one more child waiting to be a part of our family?
But then there is the other side of the plate. Will I feel completely stuffed and stretched in more ways than one? Can my body go through this again? Literally being stretched, the weight gain, the nausea, the weight gain, varicose veins, the headaches, did I say the weight gain!? Particularly in the upper breast region. And then there is the stretch on my mental health. Can I still be a good mommy when I am going through sleep deprivation, post pardum depression, no alone time with just myself or my husband. Or will I just turn into the wicked witch of our house?
So as I sit with a blank and flushed face, starring at my plate. I am barely able to eat the portions I've been given. And then I look back at those people asking me if I want to have anymore. And I tell them, "I don't know right now, I'm still trying to let what I've already eaten digest."
Thursday, April 13, 2006
More Birthdays
Last week we celebrated Monty and Leah's birthdays. Leah is a big six year old and Monty turned the wise old age of 37. For some reason that sounds much older than 36. He still feels like he is in his mid twenties. Fortunately he doesn't act like it.
Leah is finishing her year in kindergarten. She has grown up so much this year. Besides getting taller she is reading and doing math. She is starting to become much more responsible and helpful at home. She still has her amazing unique personality. She is always thinking and trying to figure out why things are the way they are. She loves to play with friends and dance and sing. Last week she gave the lesson for family home evening. She did such a great job.
We recently went skating and when we first got to the roller rink she was very hesitant to go skate and wanted to hold my hand the whole time. After one time around the rink she dropped my hand and said, "see ya mom". As if she was a pro skater after one round. It's great to see your childs confidence grow right before your eyes. GO LEAH!
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